The Husband’s Obligations Toward His Wife

1 – Obligation to fully deliver the dower

The dower is a mandatory gift that Sharia teaches the husband to give to his wife in the context of a marriage contract, under penalty of nullity (Quran 4:24, Muslim Hadith 1218).

The dower belongs only to the wife, cannot be waived, and may be used freely (Quran 4:4).

2 – Obligation to pay maintenance (Nafaqah)

The husband is responsible for paying all the wife’s and the household’s expenses (Quran 4:233 and 4:34).

All the Muslim legal schools agree that it is the husband’s obligation to pay maintenance. If the wife physically refuses her husband or becomes disobedient (nashizah), she loses this right.

However, the wife may freely waive maintenance, either partially or totally, in order to help her husband.

3 – Obligation or recommendation to give consolation (mutah)

Mutah is a consolation gift that the husband can give his ex-wife after a repudiation (Quran 2:236 and 2:241).

There is no set amount; therefore, the husband can give what he thinks is appropriate.

This gift is not required in the Shafi’i school. It is recommended (mandub) but not required in the other schools.

 4 – Obligation to treat wives equitably

In a polygamous marriage, co-wives must be treated equitably with respect to taking turns (i.e., the periods of time spent with the husband), maintenance payments and clothing (Quran 4:3, Abu Dawud Hadith 2133). 

Equity does not mean absolute equality, since the husband must give each wife what she needs for all expenses and one wife may have needs that another does not (Quran 4:129). 

Equality of treatment means providing enough for each one’s expenses.

1 – Obligation to act as head of the family

Islam gives men the responsibility to lead the family by granting him a moral and material authority (qawwamuna, Quran 2:228).

Sharia requires the wife to follow her husband’s recommendations in all conjugal relations. This obedience only has to do with things and actions Allah عزّ وجلّ has made permissible and not ones he has forbidden (Quran 4:34, Mishkat al-Masabih Hadith 3685).

It does not mean arbitrary authoritarianism, but rather fairly and appropriately overseeing family affairs (Bukhari Hadith 5200, Muslim Hadith 1829).

In addition, it is always preferable and advisable for the husband to consult his wife about some decisions in order to strengthen the couple’s relationship (Tirmidhi Hadith 2822).

2 – Obligation to do his conjugal duty

The husband and wife must physically consummate the marriage. If the husband is incapable of accomplishing it for any reason, the wife may seek a divorce in all Sunni legal schools.

The husband must not later stop doing his conjugal duty. He must fulfill his wife’s right to intimate relations (Bukhari Hadith 1975, Muslim Hadith 1159).

3 – Obligation to prohibit physical and mental abuse

The husband must completely refrain from physically or mentally abusing his wife, even when he has an aversion for her (Quran 4:19).

The husband does not have the right to punish his wife without a reason allowed by Sharia and without following the rules on this subject. If the spouses wish, the husband may promise in the marriage contract not to use these rights.

It is necessary to resolve any strain in the relationship patiently and respectfully.

4 – Obligation to behave properly and to be good company 

The husband must behave properly toward his wife and treat her with kindness (Quran 4:19).

Even if the husband has hostility and resentment toward his wife, he must not discredit or belittle her, but must rather treat her with tenderness and compassion or else separate from her with kindness, as Allah wishes (Quran 2:229 and 2:228).

The husband must not seek to harm his wife (Quran 65:6).

The Sunnah also confirms that the husband must maintain a benevolent attitude toward his wife (Bukhari, Hadith 3331 – 5185 – 5186 – 3331, Muslim, Hadith 1468, Sunan Ibn Majah Hadith 3688).

The Prophet صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم emphasized the excellence of the husband’s behavior toward his wife (Tirmidhi Hadith 1162 et 3895).

In addition, the husband, who is the benevolent head of the family and not a dictator, must ask for the wife’s opinion (shura) as much as possible (Quran 4:19, 65:6).

5 – Obligation to guide his wife toward good religious practice

It is the husband’s responsibility to guide his wife and the whole family in the observance and practice of Islam and in virtuous conduct (Quran 66:6, Bukhari Hadith 7138, Muslim Hadith 1829).

6 – Obligation to keep the wife’s conditions

The husband absolutely must keep the wife’s conditions in the marriage contract

7 – Obligation to share nights equally (qasm)

Polygamous husbands are required to divide nights equally between their wives (Quran 4:19). 

The husband must act impartially with respect to the time he devotes to each of his wives and also with respect to expenses and his general behavior toward them.