What are the wife’s obligations toward her husband?
Praise be to Allah عزّ وجلّ, peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammed صلَّى الله عليه وسل
To obey her husband in what is right and lawful (taa) |
The wife must follow her husband’s recommendations. This is required by Islam (Quran, 4-34).
In that way, the couple’s life together is protected from the discord and tension that may result from the family breaking apart.
The requirement to follow her husband’s recommendations is conditioned on it being done in righteousness. In other words, everything that is recognized as obedience to Allâh عزّ وجلّ and respect for his prohibitions. (Bukhari, Hadith 7145, Muslim Hadith 1840).
The husband must be a benevolent head of the family, never a dictator, and must ask for his wife’s opinion (shura) as much as possible. (Quran 65:6)
To be available to her husband (tamkin) |
The husband has the right to freely take advantage of his wife’s sexual favors.
When a woman becomes a Muslim wife and is able to have intimate relations, she must make herself available to her husband whenever he asks after they get married (Tirmidhi Hadith 1160, Boukhari Hadith 5193, Muslim Hadith 1436).
If the wife is sick, really tired, or truly cannot, she is excused.
But when this is not the case, the Sunnah asks the wife to make an effort in this area.
To protect the family home |
The wife must protect the family home while respecting her husband’s dignity and sensibilities, and take his feelings into account (Bukhari Hadith 5200, Muslim Hadith 1829).
In particular, she must keep people he considers undesirable away from the home, even if such people are part of the family (Bukhari Hadith 5195, Muslim Hadith 1026).
The wife must protect the family home in her husband’s absence (Quran 4:34).
To keep the home and raise the children |
Experts from different legal schools have issued nuanced opinions, which sometimes diverge from one another on this matter.
However, it is possible to state a general rule.
The wife has a duty to take responsibility for the proper running of the family home, in particular by taking care of housework herself if the husband does not have the means to hire domestic help (Bukhari hadith 7138, Muslim Hadith 1829).
This counterbalances the burden on the husband alone to provide for household expenses, unless the wife freely waives this right.
In addition, the wife has the duty to take responsibility for raising the children
(Bukhari Hadith 7138, Muslim Hadith 1829).
The husband may also participate in these tasks and help his wife like the Prophet Mohammed صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم did (Bukhari Hadith 676).
It is preferable for the husband and wife to discuss this subject beforehand and clearly define what each of them wants in their marriage contract.
Not to harm her husband |
The wife must avoid harming her husband by words or actions that could damage his honor, his property or his children.
Contempt, slander and mockery have no place in a Muslim marriage where, on the contrary, understanding and mutual empathy should develop.
The wife should avoid making her husband angry (Tirmidhi Hadith 360), showing ingratitude toward him (Bukhari Hadith 5197, Muslim Hadith 907) or revealing conjugal secrets (Muslim Hadith 1437).
And Allah عزّ وجلّ knows best
